


Frey, the deity of lust

by zimungard



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Job, Criminal world, Feelings Realization, Hand Job, Heavy plot with porn, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:49:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21520648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimungard/pseuds/zimungard
Summary: Wooseok's new job as a bartender includes mysterious secret service. Will he be able to perform this "special offer" and risk his innocent image?
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 39
Kudos: 243





	1. Chapter 1

Wooseok has a lot of problems.

**First, he is late for rent.**

His job at the gas station doesn't cover even living expenses. _So, it's time to find a second job_ , he thought. He will just suck it up like always did.

**Second,** **his** **parents completely stopped sending money.**

"My son, we know, that you are already grown up, so we think it's time for you to live off your wage. Also, take care of your little sister, we believe you can carry spending on her as well. And to warn you: we got a little debt left.

You know, we just have to take a little break" - written in the letter with pictures of happy parents on their countless trips. Wooseok wasn't mad at them, he was just disappointed. His parents always were irresponsible and craved a free hippie-like life. But less than himself, he was more worried for his sister, would he be able to provide to her?

**Third, he was kicked out from the university.**

Wooseok couldn't pay for next semester, no matter how much he begged the administration. With an incomplete education degree in his resume, he has much fewer options to find a high pay job.

**Fourth, he feels terrible loneliness.**

Since he started working close to fourteen hours a day or sometimes even taking two shifts, time to meet friends entirely disappeared. They started to distance themselves from Wooseok until completely stopped hitting him up.

**Fifth, his grandmother pressuring him to find a relationship.**

Every time Wooseok left his sister at grandma's house, he will hear the same line repeated: "Wooseok, I think it's time for you to find a girlfriend and better a rich one. With your looks, you can find someone like that". But Wooseok had no strength to tell that "finding a girlfriend" can never happen because he wasn't attracted to girls. Frankly, he had only a few romantic experiences in his life. He was just scared to have that kind of relationship and feelings, although he was never short of offers, be it casual or with commitment.

In conclusion, he is miserable. But after crying out many nights, by the time his sister falls asleep, he no longer feels anything. He is just numb. Living the same routine every day, well, not exactly living but existing, he doesn't remember the last time he experienced joy. He picked up bad habits. Wooseok regularly smoked, thankfully cigarettes at the gas station were free of charge for employers. A lot of coffee, an extremely cheap and bitter one, to not fall asleep at the workspace. He stopped caring about his drawing hobby, reading books or learning something for himself. The last warm part of his heart belonged to his sister and grandmother, who were the main reason he worked so hard for. If it was just for himself, Wooseok wouldn't even put half determination he has for earning money.

**_***_ **

“Can I take the night shift for this week instead of you?” asks Wooseok's colleague, Byungchan, after the first week at his new second job.

“Sorry, I can't. I will have to change my shift at the other job as well.”

About a week ago, after a long search, Wooseok found a job at the bar, called "Frey", close to the gas station, where he worked. "We need responsible, hardworking and also beautiful people. A great salary is expected" was noted in the ad. Wooseok is aware he quite universally attractive, but that never helped to boost his confidence. He never even uses it and thinks that without a pretty appearance his life would be the same. Just miserable, joyless life.

The salary that was proposed is indeed great, Wooseok was even surprised. But it's an elite bar, located at the rich neighborhood in the corner of the city. _That's maybe the reason_ , Wooseok thinks.

His first week runs smoothly and he doesn't even have a lot of fuck-ups, although Wooseok was new to the whole bartender career. He reduces his job at the gas station to part-time. Luckily, the manager approves his request, cause employees are getting worried for Wooseok and his state after many sleepless nights and double shifts. At day he is working at the bar, at night - at the gas station, between them, Wooseok has a window to sleep and check on his sister and grandmother. Next week, it changes. Night - bar, day - gas station. He is quite pleased with that regime, and the amount of money will also significantly increase. Also, working at the bar isn't that draining as a full shift at the gas station.

The schedule works nice to him, so it would be an ass to change. _And why would anyone want to work at night anyway?_ Wooseok thinks, confused at Byungchan's request.

In conclusion, the first week is great. He is even enjoying at some point making smoothies, tiramisus, different cakes and mixing drinks to make cocktails. Also, he likes to hearsay some rich people dramas. As this glorious life is completely foreign for him, talks about cars, mansions, big parties on the private yachts and romantic affairs fascinate him. Especially romantic affairs. Wooseok would hear about luxurious dates on the tropic islands, drinking champagne at the beach by the moonlight or going to a ski resort and rent a house with a big fireplace, ending the night with sensual sex. At the back of his mind, he wishes he was at their place, dreams that those things would happen to him. But Wooseok quickly brushes these thoughts, thinking how foolish of him to imagine experiencing this.

His day off on Sunday was calm. He played with his sister, helped with homework, cooked meals with grandma and of course, had a good sleep.

**_***_ **

**Monday**. First day of night shift for Wooseok. He asked for a few practical tips from Byungchan beforehand.

"Well, first, everyone has their style of working, if you know, what I mean," says Byungchan, winking. Wooseok pretends that he understood this hint, nodding. "Two, from Monday to Friday the owner's son comes here at around midnight to eat his favorite cake and, if his day was especially shitty, he drinks some alcohol. So, you better prepare the cake beforehand, he doesn't like to wait. Treat him well."

"But he is aren't the owner himself, why does he have a special treatment?" says Wooseok in confusion.

"His family is influential, you wouldn't want to leave a bad impression. Also, he never asks for a special offer," Byungchan adds with the sour expression. "So don't feel offended, like some girls did here, he is like this to everyone."

"Special offer?"

"Yes, special offer, he never asks for that, as I said," Byungchan runs off as he sniffs something burning in the kitchen.

As always, nobody answers him the meaning of the so-called "special offer". Everyone expects that Wooseok already knows what it means. But he doesn't worry a lot about it. _It's probably pouring super strong alcohol and lighting it on gigantic fire or building a tower from wineglasses and filling each cup from the top_ , he thinks.

At first, there were a lot of clients. They order usual stuff: tequila, soft cocktails and canapes. Closer to midnight, the bar is pretty empty. Although, it's a bar, clients the most active at day and noontime.

Wooseok feels comfortable and at peace here, surprisingly. Warm lights and slow lounge music are incredibly relaxing. The sweet scent of liquor is really pleasant to his senses. He never knew he would enjoy working that much in his life.

Wooseok hears a bell on the front door. In the beginning, this sound irritated him, but now he got accustomed. Inside walks a tall man in a suit. Although he looks quite tired and not in a good mood, Wooseok founds him attractive.

_that's probably owner's son cause time is around midnight_

"Hey, are you new?" he asks, sitting at the side of the bar counter.

"Mm, yeah. Hello, I'm Wooseok," he is pretty nervous around him, as he remembers that you wouldn't wish to be at his bad side.

"I didn't ask your name," the man sharply responds. "It's on the name tag anyway."

Wooseok is embarrassed at his remark.

_wow, I already presented myself as some dumbass_

"Anyway, give me my usual, if you know it," the man continues

Wooseok quickly prepares the tall man's favorite cake, which was pointed out by Byungchan. But noticing his tired expression, Wooseok thinks, _maybe the man had this "especially shitty day"?_

"Would you, maybe, like some alcohol tonight?" Wooseok cautiously asks.

"One point for a good sense," the man answers. "Pour."

Wooseok is content as he was able to predict a wish of the bar's most important client.

He awkwardly stands at the bar as the man eats. Sometimes throwing glances to see if he is enjoying. He doesn't pay to Wooseok any attention, just slowly eats his cake and scrolls his phone.

_what does he do in everyday life? what is his occupation? why he comes here every workday?_

Wooseok couldn't help but wonder what hides under this mysterious aura.

The man finishes his late-night meal. Not saying a word, he fishes out a banknote. "No change," he says. The owner's son left as abruptly as he entered. Wooseok is slightly dumbfounded.

_he is pretty cold_

Usually, costumers try to chat with Wooseok. Sometimes it's a pleasant small talk, sometimes it's boring crap watering non-stop from drunk mouthes, on other occasions - dirty remarks and cat-calls, which he learning to just pass through his ears, so it's won't get on his nerves. Which, he must say, are already not in good conditions.

**_***_ **

**Tuesday**. The second day of a night shift. Gas station work was pretty rough for Wooseok today. When he finished his hours, he couldn't feel his hands for some time. A lot of people requested to change the rubber of their wheels. He left a big chunk of his strength there, trying to make everything done nice. Also, he had to unload a truck full of gas tanks. He was worried about his hands because for a bartender controlling his upper limbs is a must.

Pouring drinks is pretty hard. Wooseok putting extra focus to not spill client's offers. He does pretty well, accounting his shaky fingers.

Again, close to midnight, the bar is empty. Nothing interesting happened, no one even shouted at him for mixing wrong or forgetting to put one more gram of lime. Also, no "special offers" today. Wooseok is already dying to know what it means, but no one requested him to perform this world's mystery.

_will he come today?_

As Wooseok going through this thought, the bell rings. He turns his head. The man looks as tired and annoyed as yesterday.

"Hello! Would you have your usu-"

"My usual," the man speaks, not listening to Wooseok till the end.

"Alcohol?"

Man nods.

_it seems this day is shitty too_

Wooseok puts a plate with a cake on a bar counter. From all the desserts Wooseok himself tried at the "Frey", it's also his favorite. Soft texture with a lot of butter and biscuit made from elite chocolate, definitely a treat.

He pours wine in a glass, trying to focus on calming his hands. He is even more nervous under the rich man's gaze

_don't spill._

_don't spill._

_don't spill._

_ah, ok_

Wooseok sighs. He successfully completes his task. The man eats silently. Wooseok is trying to mind his own business, but cold air around this particular costumer makes him quite uncomfortable. The man finishes his glass.

"Refill!" he commands.

_refill? is this two times a shitty day?_

"Fuck!" the man shouts.

"I'm...sorry," Wooseok knew he would spill it this time. He just knew. "I'm really...really sorry," he mumbles, giving napkins to the man and wiping the counter. Red wine got on a man's wrist, spotting his jacket and shirt.

"You can't even pour a drink."

"Sorry..." Wooseok can't stop apologizing.

"I guess, then you only good at sex. That's why they didn't already fire yo-"

"Sir, can you repeat, please? I am good at what?" Wooseok thinks he misheard.

"At sex!" the man has a sly expression, thinking he successfully torn Wooseok's pride with the previous remark.

"Sex!?"

"Are you deaf?"

"I... don’t understand."

"Oh, right. You can't say "sex" in this place. How is this called here? Special offer, right?"

". . ."

And then, it clicks. Wooseok understood.

Special offer is sex work?

It all finally made sense. Why they were searching for "beautiful people". Why Byungchan asked to take the night shift. Why would someone be sad if an offer doesn't requested. And why would employers always have talked in a whispers about it.

But why everyone thought he would understand it from the beginning? Was it really obvious and he is that dense? Is he just that innocent? Of course, nobody said "sex" in front of him here before, because it's a secret bonus service of this bar.

At the job interview, he was asked about "being able to do special offers" repeatedly, but Wooseok just nodded. He knew that at job interviews you have to agree with everything you proposed to do. And the fact, that "special offers" are quite "special" never crossed his mind.

_wow, I'm so dumb_

"Special offer" is just a code word, so it wouldn't be that suspicious. Wooseok never knew he will put himself in something like this. He thought of this if things will get too rough, work like that could be an option. But he never seriously considered it.

"Special offer is sex?" Wooseok asks the man at the counter, still shocked.

"Are you serious?"

"Sir, I'm just... really confused."

"Don't pretend."

"Sir, I'm not," Wooseok tries to convince him, the thought that someone thinks he is having sex is enough to embarrass him. "Please, tell me, is this right?"

The man looks at Wooseok in suspicion, not believing this situation. But judging by his distressed expression, he is not lying.

"You really didn’t know?"

Wooseok nods.

"How?"

"It's just...was never directly mentioned."

"Oh, right. They are pretty secretive about it. That's not really legal, you know?"

"Would I get fired if I don't do that?" Wooseok looks down, the thought of losing this job and going back to full-time hours at the gas station is terrifying.

"I have no idea, ask your manager," the man frowns a little seeing Wooseok's down expression. "I don't really know about inside affairs here. My father's company owns this place, not me."

"Right. Sorry, sir," Wooseok retreats.

_what do I do now? what do I do?_

Kept repeating in his head after the man left. One thing he knows is that he is not ready to do "special offers".

**_###_ **

hey, byungchan?

yeah

would i get fired if i don't do special offers?

well,

you have to bring manager a minimum for the week

and night shift minimum is pretty big

you can't really earn it by pouring drinks?

ok, i understand

also, byungchan

what?

what is the name of the owner's son?

cho seungyoun

**_###_ **

**Wednesday**. At the gas station, all Wooseok thinks about is "Frey". He hopes no one asks for a "special offer" tonight. He will just say that he didn't have any requests. And he would be there for another week, at least. Wooseok couldn't bear to think about the next plans.

The gas station isn't crowded, but he is already pretty tired from the last two days.

_four more days and sunday, you can do this_

Thankfully, no one asks to change their rubber today. But he is bored with his core, standing at the counter. At the station, they sell some fast-food and snacks. Wooseok already has a muscle memory at doing hot-dogs and hamburgers by now.

**_###_ **

oppa

yeah

our school principal told me to bring some paper

notice? i will look into it

what does it say?

payment debt for the next semester and table with a numbers

oppa, is it bad?

oppa?

it's okay, don't worry,

i will take care of it

i trust you

thank you, you always do, my dear

**_###_ **

Wooseok sighs. He lights a cigarette. This is bad. They don't have money for that now, he begged to postpone payment for a month, but it didn't work. School is a business here after all. He never wished his 9-year-old sister would live like this. Although he sacrifices everything for her, cutting on his food and clothes, it's not enough. Grandmother also occasionally asks for money, he understands, that living on a government's social pay is not enough for the old lady. Not talking about if someone from his two precious people in life gets ill, he would have to spend a lot of money. But the worst budget eater of all is rent and his parent's debt. They left it all on him. His house is filled with bank papers, telling him that he is late on credit pay. He pays it as much as he can, hoping the bank will not call him to a court or won't hire bouncers to beat the shit out of him.

Someone walks into the station store. Wooseok stops his chaotic train of thoughts.

"Welcome! What woul-" he stops. Wooseok sees a familiar face. Son of "Frey" owner. The man is a little surprised as well. He quickly put outs a cigarette. For some reason, he didn’t want Seungyoun to see him doing such a “bad” thing – smoking.

"Americano, please. Four shots," It seems like he doesn't want to acknowledge Wooseok.

"Don't spill it like the last time," the man suddenly says.

_oh, a reference_

Wooseok smiles.

_******* _

Midnight. Luckily for Wooseok, nobody requested a "special offer".

_i can live another day..._

_when will he come?_

Bell rings. Wooseok got excited at the man showing at the front door, he didn't understand why he has such feelings. It's not like Seungyoun treated him nice.

"My usual."

As the man silently eats like always, Wooseok is dying in the corner thinking how to start a conversation. He doesn't know for what reason, but he wants to talk to him.

"So," Seungyoun starts. "You work at the gas station near?"

Wooseok is relieved. He didn't have to speak first.

"Mm, yes."

Sadly, his communication skills went out of the window. And they were pretty great, given how much he worked in the service industry.

"Why?"

"I need money."

"Well, that obvious," Seungyoun likes teasing him. "For what?"

"That's pretty personal..."

"Fine, whatever," he says, cutting the conversation and going back to his cake.

"It's just..." some seconds after Wooseok decided to share. "Family issues."

"Family issues? I know those, have a lot as well," Seungyoun bitterly laughs.

"Sir, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Why do you come here?"

"That's easy. I really like desserts and this place is on the way from my workplace to home. I feel good here. It's a routine by now."

"Oh, thank you for the answer," Wooseok didn't hope to get such a full reply.

"You don't have to be thankful for that."

Wooseok face flushed a little.

_do I really behave like a fool right now?_

"So, you didn't get any offer by now?"

"No."

"That's unlucky."

_not exactly_

Awkward silence. You could cut through the air with a sword and it wouldn't break. Seungyoun stares at Wooseok for some time. The other averts his gaze.

"I want to ask for a special offer."

_really?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spicy things ahead  
> slow burn here is only about feelings;)
> 
> tw: mentions of panic attacks

"I want to ask for a special offer."

_no_

Wooseok is taken aback. This can't be real.

"I will pay as much as you want."

". . ."

"You can reject me if you are uncomfortable."

"Sir, I..."

"I will wait in the car."

At these words, Seungyoun hurriedly leaves. Wooseok tries to think rationally. On the one hand, he needs the money and needs it badly. Wooseok can't deny it and knows Seungyoun will pay a lot. On the other hand, he is scared. Nobody warned that his innocence and well-behaved son's pride will be flushed down the toilet today. 

_calm down, wooseok_

_how long will he wait?_

If he wants to do the offer, it's better to hurry. Seungyoun wouldn't wait for long. But, is he ready? Fully capable to engage in such things?

_i don't know, i really don't_

Wooseok calms his breath and looks at the car.

_fuck it_

He takes the journal, placed under the bar. "Special offers" written in the front. Wooseok never knew there would be the time he will have to use it. He opens it. There are three graphs: " _Giver_ ", " _Receiver_ " and " _Transaction_ ". Journal is quite thick with a lot of names.

_for how long did this business run?_

Should he write Seungyoun and himself? He is worried that his name would be associated with something like this once he puts it in. And Seungyoun? Isn’t his reputation will be tamed if someone finds out? Byungchan already said he never requested a special offer, maybe his image is the reason? Looking at the pros and cons, Wooseok decides not to write them in the journal.

_let's be anonymous_

He goes outside, quickly locking the door. Gathering all his will, he walks towards Seungyoun's car. The latter turns the engine on. Wooseok panics, hearing machine's roar. He runs, thinking that man will just drive away in front of his nose.

"Sir, are you serious?" Wooseok asks, calming his breath after the short run. "Why are you playing with me?" 

_it's humiliating_

"Sorry, cutie, it was funny to see you panic," Seungyoun says through the laughter.

"Please, don't call me like this."

"Then how do I call you? Doll, princess, kitt-"

"Stop!" Wooseok decides to finally show some character. "Also, can I not call you "sir" anymore?"

"I actually like when you call me that," Seungyoun smirks.

"It's just... wouldn't feel right to do _this_ and still call you 'sir'."

"To do _what_ , Wooseok?"

_the first time he said my name_

"To do... _that._ "

"Just say _it._ "

"I don't want to," Wooseok crosses his arms on the chest.

"Oh, how will you do _it_ if you can't even say _it_?" Seungyoun moves closer to him, almost saying words right in his ear.

"Ok, to _have sex_! Sex! Is that what you wanted to hea-" Wooseok raises his voice but it quickly shuts down as he feels a warm and moist feeling on his skin.

_is this how it starts?_

Seungyoun kisses his ear and gently bites. He leaves a trace of saliva on the way to his cheek. Wooseok couldn't move after sudden action. He is scared to admit, but he enjoys feeling Seungyoun's tongue slowly warming up his face.

Patting little kisses across every part of Wooseok's face, he finally reaches his lips. Seungyoun feels how pump and full they are. With blood rushing to his face, they were extremely hot as well.

At first, Wooseok doesn't respond. It was a long time since he kissed if you can call high school makeout as proper kisses. Wooseok knows he can't hide his inexperience. He tries to slightly move his lips. And did he regret it? As soon as Wooseok opens his mouth, Seungyoun's tongue goes right through. His fingers go under the smaller man’s shirt.

"Ah..." Wooseok gasps in surprise.

Seungyoun smiles against his lips. He pleasantly surprised such little thing can make Wooseok stir. The latter is getting slightly overwhelmed. He feels Seungyoun's lips, to which he now actively responds. The man's hand is under his shirt, warm touch traces his back. Seungyoun's scent with the perfume that reminds him of some wildflowers mixed with fresh and sharp feel. He can drown here and now in this smell. He feels other's body reaching closer and closer. But Wooseok didn't dare to touch Seungyoun yet, although he wanted. Arousal slowly builds up.

_oh, i can feel his di..._

Wooseok notices with his thigh how Seungyoun becomes harder and harder. The man starts to toss to get some friction for the throbbing hot flesh underneath his pants.

_will he put this inside...?_

Seungyoun guides Wooseok hand to his crotch.

"You better do something," says Seungyoun, breaking the kiss. "I don't wanna fuck a dead fish."

_...dead fish?_

Wooseok didn't want to become that. He is messy in his movements but he tries to give the man some pleasure. He slides his hands up and down and presses on his crotch.

"What are you so scared of?" Seungyoun questions.

He presses his hand against Wooseok's one on his crotch, showing the right movements. Now Wooseok could feel the man's cock and his size more precisely.

_...could this fit into me?_

Judging by the gay porn that Wooseok watched many times - anything could fit into everything. But he worries nonetheless. Seungyoun slowly moves Wooseok's back down the seat, putting him in laying position. He moves his lips to smaller man's neck, sucks at it to be sure that marks will be visible. Wooseok lies there, too nervous to do anything. He wishes he is also touched down _there_ but too embarrassed to address it.

Wooseok feels how Seungyoun's saliva slowly dries on his neck. He notices the slight pain there and down his collarbone as Seungyoun is too keen on leaving hickeys.

"Mm..." Wooseok mumbles at this feeling, he can't even imagine how the skin on his neck will look after such torment.

Noticing that Wooseok starts to twitch after the aggressive kisses, Seungyoun understood the hint. He licks Wooseok's neck to soothe the pain. Smaller man made him lose his mind a little, so Seungyoun tries to regain his senses. At this point, Wooseok's heart is beating at a painful speed. Breathing is irregular. Panic is slowly taking over him.

Seungyoun retreats from Wooseok. Fishes out a condom from the car's dashboard. The smaller man pushes his shoulders up to see what's going on. Wooseok notices a condom in Seungyoun's hand.

_is it really happening..._

The reality of the situation hits Wooseok on the head. Will he actually have sex right now? Is this real life? He starts getting short of breath. Suddenly, quickly sits up. It feels like he will throw up. His eye pupils getting wide. Limbs are getting numb. He wants to run away. To hide.

"Seungyoun..." he says in a whisper. "I just...I can't."

He opens the car, not being able to face Seungyoun's reaction. Runs back to the "Frey". As soon as he closes the door, tears start flowing. It's not the first time he had a panic attack, but its counts are increasing. The last time it happened was a month ago when his sister didn't answer his calls after not coming home from school. She stayed at her friends, not noticing his calls while playing. He almost lost his mind that day. His trashy nervous system after sleepless nights, big doses of coffee and a lot of worries can't bear such stress.

He hears the car driving away. His eyes are red from tears. The neck is itching from countless bites and kisses. He doesn't feel any emotion. Doesn’t even blames himself, as Wooseok always does in any situation. Completely numb. _Am I the first man in history to run off from sex?_ Goes bitterly through his mind.

He goes to the bar. Grabs a bottle of vodka from the lower shelf. There is no way he can live through this night without numbing himself even more. When emotions will hit him, _it would be less painful_ , he thinks. For tonight, vodka is his medicine. He drinks from the bottle, not bothering to find a glass.

**_***_ **

**Thursday**. Wooseok wakes up with a terrible hangover. His head feels like a ticking bomb ready to blow up. He swallows some pills to erase the nagging pain. After the shower he looks in the bathroom mirror, lots of bruises blossom on his flesh.

_is that guy is an animal?_

As he gets ready for work at the station he wears a high-neck sweater to cover his blue and purple skin from last night. 

"Wooseok" his grandma approaches, waking up early as well. She often stayed at their house to look by his sister. "Did you get yourself a girlfriend?" she asks in confusion. Her gaze is directed at his love bites that still visible more than enough.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he answers, tugging his sweater higher. To say he is embarrassed is to say nothing.

"Be careful, you have responsibilities," she says in a strict teacher voice, looking at him in disdain like he is the dirtiest human on Earth. "Don't lose your head, Wooseok."

**_###_ **

Kim Wooseok, your last night's costumer made a transaction.

It covered your monthly minimum and even more left.

Now everything you earn goes to your pocket.

I will bring you the leftover next week on a day shift.

Thank you, manager

Also, why didn't you wrote the costumer in a journal?

It's for your safety, understand?

So we would know where to look when you don't come back or someone doesn't pay.

I apologize. I will use the journal from now on

**_###_ **

_he paid? why?_

_he wants me to feel guilty? or he wants me to do it again?_

_or both?_

**_###_ **

wooseok!!

woooooooseok!

what, byungchan

who you were with last night?

how do you know i was with somebody?

day shift is always full of rumors

it's not your business

the owner's son?

why do you think it's him?

the sum of money was quite large

wait... now, how do you how much i got paid???

rumors, wooseok, rumors!!!

fuck off, byungchan

that's what YOU did last night

**_###_ **

He couldn't believe information spreads as fast as lightning. On a day shift works more than two employers when the bar is the most active. Wooseok is sure, they are washing his dirty laundry right at this moment. 

_can people don't bother me? can i disappear, please?_

**_***_ **

**Night shift**. This time Wooseok couldn't enjoy mixing drinks or making tiramisus. The only thing he is content about is that all the money today belongs to him and, thanks to this, his sister will continue to go to school.

Lounge music is not that calming now and liquor's scent just gives him a headache. Sometimes people eyed his neck and laughed between themselves. They all know he is not just a bartender. Earlier he would be humiliated that someone thinks of him like that. But now he doesn't care. His mind is elsewhere. Close to the midnight, he starts to get anxious.

_he won't come today...will he?_

Bell rings. Wooseok looks at the doorway. No. It's not Seungyoun. He sighs in disappointment. Some old rich guy decides to show at midnight to the "Frey". Wooseok doesn't have will in him to greet the client.

"Hey, pretty boy."

Wooseok doesn't like the way it starts.

"I wanna slide my ship into your harbor!" the man laughs at his own words. For some reason, he is already got drunk at some other place.

_...the fuck_

Wooseok has no idea how to react. In his confusion, he hears a bell ring again. Seungyoun.

"Sorry, Mr. Rich," drunk man addresses new client. "I'm first in the queue, you’ll have to wait. Let's go," he grabs Wooseok’s wrists and tugs him through the counter.

_seungyoun, please, protect me_

Wooseok steps back. Shrugging away man's hands. Thankfully, cause of a drunk state the man wasn't that strong. Seungyoun completely ignores the situation, sitting at his usual place at the side.

"Don't touch me!" Wooseok shouts.

"Boy, why are you so loud?" the man asks. "Give me my service already."

"Sorry," Wooseok tries to collect himself and stay polite. "I won't give you any service."

"What?" man is surprised. "Nobody rejected me in this place before, dumb whore!" At these words, Seungyoun looks up from his phone, in which he was engrossed. Gives the man a death glare.

"Do you know what I will do to you little face if you don't open up your legs?" the man starts raining unstoppable insults on Wooseok in-between his drunk hiccups. "You know what," he suddenly changes the tone of voice.

Wooseok is frozen at his place. He has no idea what is the right tactic to fight against rich and influential people whilst not having side effects after. He is starting to get worried if the men's words really do mean something.

_...seungyoun, please_

"I will just take you by force," flame appears in drunk's man eyes. "And I won't have any repercussion."

"Dude, I wanna eat at peace. Get out," Seungyoun suddenly gives his input.

"I'm not scared of you and your family, Cho. Let me wet my dick _at peace_ as well," the man retreats.

"Go wet your dick elsewhere. He said 'no'," Seungyoun stars to lose his cool.

"Are you his advocate, Cho!?"

"You know I have a gun with me?" Seungyoun intensely looks at man, it's like he is seconds away before tearing him apart. "And I also won't have any repercussions, that's for sure. How will your little financial business survive without the owner?"

_...he has a gun?_

The drunk man looks at him, deciding what to do. If he said he wasn't scared of Seungyoun, you could tell he started to get. Although Seungyoun is bluffing about shooting him, the man's drunk hazy mind couldn't expose that.

"Bye, Cho," the man retreat's after the lost fight. "I won't come here again, this place sucks ass and alcohol tastes like piss," he says, repeatedly stumbling on furniture on his way out. _He is shitface drunk_ , Wooseok thinks.

"Thank you, Seungyoun," he says after the man leaves. He just nods and asks for his usual. No one of them addresses the elephant in the room.

"I thought, you won't come today," Wooseok starts.

"Why would I ruin my routine because of someone's indecisive brain?"

_here it is_

Such a simple remark still hurts. He wants to cry. When did Wooseok got so attached that he expected Seungyoun to save him earlier and now his simple words cut this deep?

"About the payment..." Wooseok initiates the talk again, ignoring aching in his chest. "I'm thankful, but do you expect me to do anything?"

"Do you think I'm a fool, Wooseok?" Seungyoun sighs in annoyance after he once again distracted from his meal. "The fact that I have money doesn't mean I give them to strangers left and right for nothing."

_do i have to try to do this again?_

"Then why did you pay now and not after I will actually give you a special offer?" he says in confusion.

"Repaying me gives you a clear motivation."

_is he really that cold?_

"How...can I repay you?" Wooseok already knows the answer to that, he didn't even need to ask.

"You can at least suck me off, I will count that."

_oh_

"Suck you off?"

"Don't make this clueless expression again, you know what it means," by this point Seungyoun is really annoyed. "Also, don't hide your neck next time. It looks good on you."

**_***_ **

**Friday**. Wooseok promised Seungyoun to repay him tonight. All-day he is mentally preparing. Other than that, he plans his increased budget: one part for the sister's school, one part for the bank’s debt. Bank's name, "Freya", is strangely similar to the bar's. He wonders, are they related? Although, he regularly pays in small parts, with all the return percentages and taxes debt never decreases. He believes that it's an endless scheme and he is the bank's slave for the rest of his life. His parents made a bad choice of signing a fraud credit paper. _Maybe, debt plays a big part in the reason why they run away_ , he thinks.

Every minute of his free time at the station he spends on intense research. His browser history as follows: "first time giving oral", "how to give nice head advice for beginners", "how to give your boyfriend an otherworldly experience practical tips". Unfortunately, text form didn't give him a whole picture and Wooseok didn't think it's appropriate to watch risky videos at the workplace.

_this time i want to give him some pleasure_

In his desperation, he goes as far as:

**_###_ **

byungchan,

how to give good head?

uhm

i'm serious

**_###_ **

**Friday night.** Wooseok guides Seungyoun into the waiting room for "Frey" workers. His heart is beating loudly. Although he significantly prepared his mental state, it's not that easy to calm down in front of the real deal.

"What are you waiting for? Get on your knees" Seungyoun commands.

Wooseok fulfills the wish, getting in front of the man's crotch.

"You know what I meant yesterday when I said I carry a gun?" Seungyoun says, lifting his shirt up. Gun tattoo almost blinds Wooseok's face. Although he didn't like tattoos on people, he couldn't help but find it fitting Seungyoun and his character.

_that's strangely attractive..._

Wooseok carefully undoes the man's belt. Unzips his pants. He is terrified of making even one wrong movement. But what could even go wrong in the process of taking down someone's pants? Wooseok looks up with an expression of " _am I doing it right?_ " Seungyoun nods, signaling to continue.

Wooseok slides down Seungyoun’s pants. He can see the outline of his half-hard cock through the boxers. Wooseok nervously gulps. Closes his eyes and, without looking, takes off his boxers. He doesn't know what he is scared to see here.

_it's just a dick, calm down_

He opens his eyes. Throbbing flesh ready to be touched is in front of him. Wooseok's face gets red. He could see every vein on Seungyoun's cock.

_it's as big as i thought when i felt it last time_

Taller man tightens the grip on Wooseok's hair. Now he knows once his mouth opens this thing will be shoved right in. There's no going back. No more "Seungyoun, I can't".

The taller man holds cock in his hand and lowers it to the level of other's mouth.

"Take."

Wooseok hesitates. Seungyoun gets impatient not being able to relieve his erection. He pushes Wooseok's head closer. His lips land right on the head of his cock, precome smears across his mouth. He is even able to taste it. To give himself some support, Wooseok puts his hands on Seungyoun's hips.

_i need to start_

He slowly hides inch by inch in his mouth, so he could comfortably adjust his gag reflex to Seungyoun's cock.

"Are you kidding me?" the taller man gets tired of a slow pace. With a sharp motion, he pushes Wooseok's head all the way in.

Wooseok panics. Head of the penis painfully hits at the back of his throat. He starts choking. The last time Wooseok felt like this was in high school when a doctor shoved a probe inside him to check the stomach.

_i can't breathe, i can't breathe..._

"Swallow, dummy. I can't believe I need to tell you such easy things."

Wooseok starts to breathe through his nose. His throat relaxes a bit. Next attempt at swallowing goes well. Now, Wooseok can actually "suck him off". Except, he forgot about everything after thinking that he will die right here a moment ago. The reason for his death will be stated as "chocked on a cock". His face is full of tears from a panic reaction. Chin already covered with saliva. Seungyoun pushes other’s head in and out at a steady pace for a few moments.

"Like this. Do."

Wooseok moves on his own, trying to execute an order. He is too absorbed on this matter to notice how he gets aroused too.

"Open your mouth more. I don't want your teeth scrubbing me, I want it warm and nice."

Wooseok tries to widen the passage. He feels like he will dislocate his jaw at this rate. He starts to move again as Seungyoun showed him before. Sucking in and out but not letting go of the cock. By now it's completely covered in Wooseok's saliva and slides more easily. He remembers, during his research he read about working with your tongue. He tries it, messily running it across Seungyoun's size.

"I don't think you doing it right," the man sighs. "Leave your tongue at peace."

Wooseok obeys, feeling humiliated that his initiative wasn't accepted. The room is filled with sounds of Wooseok's working mouth. He already feels pain at the back of his throat.

_it's gonna hurt tomorrow_

He wonders, _does Seungyoun feels good?_

"You didn't hide your neck today. Nice. I like to see my work," he smirks. "You know what? When that old fart called you "dumb whore" I got mad cause I know you aren’t one," Seungyoun says in-between short breathes, which indicates that he is, in fact, feels some pleasure. "When I saw you working at the gas station, I understood that you are quite poor, having two jobs. And I saw your shaking hands, that’s way you spilled the drink, right?" it seems like in order to Seungyoun to be talkative he needs to feel the sexual excitement. "I felt a pity for you and wanted to help with money. Not without benefit for myself, of course."

Wooseok keeps sucking while Seungyoun talks non-stop. The initial shock went away and he is growing tired of giving this “service”.

"And actually," Seungyoun continues, pushing Wooseok to go faster as he is getting close. "I didn't really get mad at you for ditching me in the car. I understood why you freaked the fuck out."

Wooseok looks up with questioning expression. _He looks so pretty like this_ , goes through Seungyoun's mind, _red, sweaty with saliva and precome spread around his face._

"I could have been your **_first_** , right?"

_how does he know?_

"It was pretty obvious, Wooseok," he seemed to read the other's mind. "For now I'm content to be the first to fuck such pretty face. I'm usually more into girls, but your beauty...I can't deny it," Seungyoun signals Wooseok to quicken the pace even more, pushes his hips forward "Swallow my sperm, less cleaning."

Seungyoun comes, splashing his semen inside Wooseok's mouth. He obediently swallows. Now he knows how Seungyoun tastes.

"Lick it clean."

Wooseok moves his mouth once more across the now spent cock. Eating the leftovers. Wooseok’s erection uncomfortably calmed down after not being addressed for a long time. But finally, Wooseok's throat is free. Seungyoun takes the napkin from the table near. Wipes smaller man's saliva from his cock, then Wooseok's face from different liquids: sperm, tears, saliva and sweat mixed together. Wooseok feels incredibly dirty.

"Did you like it?" he finally shows his voice.

"Well, it was average. But you worked hard, I will give you that."

_at least it like this_

Seungyoun gets dressed. Grabs a cigarette from the pack in his back pocket. Leaning on the wall, he lights it and lazily smokes. He points the pack to Wooseok, proposing him a cigarette. Wooseok doesn't know if he should accept.

"C'mon," Seungyoun is annoyed "I saw you smoking already, I know you do."

Wooseok cautiously takes the cigarette. All the time he smokes, Seungyoun stares at him. Getting uncomfortable at the intense gaze, he shifts in his place.

"You are dangerously hot when you smoke," the man says. Wooseok feels the blush. Seungyoun's fingers gently trace his flushed cheek. "You look tired, pretty. Go home and sleep. Don't worry about the work."

_he cares about me?_

Later that night, before Wooseok falls asleep, he touches his cheek and remembers the tender fingers on his skin there.

**_***_ **

**Saturday**. The last day of night shifts. Wooseok is excited to see Seungyoun and he can't hide this feeling from himself anymore.

"Wooseok, why did you agreed to have sex with me back then?" Seungyoun cautiously asks, cutting the cake with a luxurious silver fork. "I think you were quite desperate for money there and now. What was the exact reason?"

"It's just..." Wooseok hesitates if he should share and break the walls around his personal life. "I needed to pay for my sister's school."

_and also i found you attractive..._

"Oh," Seungyoun puts down his fork. "Now I look like an asshole shoving my dick inside your throat. You had such an innocent goal. Also, I forgot..."

Seungyoun opens his wallet and not even looking at how much he grabs, gives cash to Wooseok. The other wonders if he should take it.

"But wasn’t I repaying the debt?"

"It's just a bonus."

"I don't think I can take it directly from you. You have to make the transaction to the bar's name and also I didn't write you in a journal again and this is not good caus-" Wooseok starts to mumble, Seungyoun interrupts him.

"Wooseok, shut up with your formalities. I did the transaction to cover your minimum, stupid. So you won't get fired cause, I guess, you treasure job at the bar this much."

Seungyoun slides money to the other side of the counter. He will leave it there, Wooseok will have to take it, sooner or later. Suddenly Wooseok turns away from Seungyoun. His cheeks tint pink a little.

"You know," he tries to gather his will. Slow jazz music and warm orange lights make the atmosphere really intimate as there is only him and Seungyoun. "If you ever want a relief, I can give you head again, just ask," Wooseok's ears got red as blood rushes into them from embarrassment.

"Even for free?"

"For free."

"So," Seungyoun looks at him with an emotion Wooseok can't decipher. "You voluntary agree to be used at any time with no goal other than giving pleasure?"

_is this what it sounds like?_

"I think, you misunderstood our relationship," Seungyoun continues in a serious tone.

"What do you mean?"

"You like me, Wooseok."

_do i?_

"I think you are mistaken here. I don't know why I said this. Forget it," Wooseok tries to get himself out of the situation. After calming down from Seungyoun's sudden words, he says with a lining of hope:

"But if I confess to you, what would you say? Could you ever feel the same?"

"Do you think I can fall for someone because of sloppy kisses and mediocre blowjob?"

“. . .!”

Wooseok's jaw lowers. It's hard to breathe. He drops the cup he was cleaning on the floor. Glass shatters into small pieces, exactly like his heart. Muscle spasms spread all over his body. He wants to vomit. To hide in the corner. To get drunk on vodka until it burns his insides.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: depiction of violence

"Do you think I can fall for someone because of sloppy kisses and mediocre blowjob?"

_Maybe, I can_ , flushes through Seungyoun's head for a millisecond. Too fast for his consciousness to acknowledge.

The sound of the breaking glass makes him startle. He sees Wooseok's distressed reaction. The latter puts his hands on the counter for support. He starts deeply breathing to calm himself down.

"Are you alright?" Seungyoun asks, worriedly. No answer.

_i am not_

_how hard-hearted can you be?_

Seungyoun finds the entrance to the inside of the counter, cleans the path from the glass with his foot. Comes closer to Wooseok. Puts his hand at the back of the other's waist, slightly patting it.

"Listen, calm down. Is this my words? Am I too forward?" he talks in a soft voice.

Wooseok looks down. Words can't come out of him yet. But it's not like he needs to respond anyway. The answer is obvious. Seungyoun searches for something, looking around the bar.

"Here. Drink," he finds the water bottle and takes off the lead. "C'mon."

Wooseok cautiously grabs the bottle. Splash! He throws the water in Seungyoun's face. The man steps back in surprise, water dripping from his chin. Liquid got on the suit as well.

"Wow, okay," he says, suppressing his anger. "I guess, I deserve this."

"Leave me alone." the voice sounds weak.

"Wooseok..."

"I'm glad I won't see your face for the next week."

Seungyoun sighs. He silently leaves. Wooseok is all alone in a center of the mess, left from shattered glass and splashed water.

**_***_ **

He returns home at 3 AM after completing the shift. Wooseok can't sleep, shifting from side to side. Is he infatuated with Seungyoun? That's the question he can't find the answer on. Or just scared to admit because it will hurt. A lot. So for now, his mind uses copping mechanism - denying the feelings, in order to protect his psyche.

His hands brush unhealed love bites on the neck. He wishes he could peel the skin off, so it will never remind of past encounters.

The vibration of the phone reaches his ears. He grabs it. Temporarily blinded by the device light, he waits until his eyes get used.

**_###_ **

**Unknown Number**

hi 04:42 ✓

it's seungyoun 04:42 ✓

i got your number from frey's manager, 04:42 ✓

after the day you have panicked in the car 04:43 ✓

but i didn't use it 04:43 ✓

i also wanted to ask back then if you were alright 04:43 ✓

but yeah, i didn't... 04:44 ✓

so, back to the matter 04:44 ✓

i reflect on my words 04:44 ✓

maybe, you treat all we did as meaningful, 04:45 ✓

because you didn't have much experience 04:45 ✓

i can understand that 04:45 ✓

i see that you are leaving me on read 05:20 ✓

i just hope you okay right now 05:21 ✓

you're asleep and i wish it's not because of me 05:21 ✓

i'm not worth the sleepless night, really 05:21 ✓

****

**_###_ **

_what's with this guy? one time he cares, the other time doesn't give a shit? what's up with the push-and-pull trash?_

He doesn't message back, he still has some pride left. Wooseok still isn't sure about his feelings towards the other. He never came across emotions with this complicity before. He definitely felt sympathy for the other guys earlier in life, but now, it's more than that. There is something more mixed to it. Is he really likes him as Seungyoun said? Is this just attraction? An extreme lust? Magnetism around Seungyoun's aura? Maybe, it's an unhealthy attachment because he is lonely and friendless? Or all of this together?

_dear brain, please shut off, i need to sleep_

**_***_ **

**Sunday**. Day off. As Wooseok's wallet grew thicker over the past week, he decides to go shopping with his sister. Thankfully, he didn't say to Seungyoun to take his money back yesterday. He would have been left with nothing but shame, so at least he got to use the other's money as a reparation.

He bought all the sweets his sister wanted, feeling proud that he can afford it for once. But Wooseok wishes she will never get to know the way he earned it. As it's getting cold, he copped new coats for them as well. There was money left for his grandmother too. He got her a present - a lovely warm scarf - to ease the tense air between them from the last conversation.

Also, he has one more thing left. He concludes it's time to solve the problem with the debt from the bank "Freya". After surfing through the web he found out about the new financial organization "DebtFREE". It promised to take action against fraud bank credits faster and cheaper than the court.

**_***_ **

"So, if I sign a paper about working with you I can't call the bank to a court?" he asks the counselor, sitting in the organization's office.

"We don't support two parties working with the same case simultaneously. So, yes, you won't be able to because it will invalidate our work."

_sounds fishy_

"I'm not sure it sounds good to m-"

"Wait, Mr. Kim, it works both ways" counselor interrupts, passionately trying to get him to sign the contract "Bank can't call you to the court as well. They won't sue you, their call will be just dismissed. We cooperate with the government on these matters, don't worry."

_the bank can't sue me as well? now that's better, cause i am pretty close to that_

The counselor convinces him. Wooseok signs the paper. Moments later, when he will check his mailbox, he would be even more pleased with this decision. "Client Kim Wooseok, this is last warning before the bank will take immediate action against you” - said in the new notice. As "Freya" can't sue him now, the weight from his shoulders falls down. He hopes, the organization will take measures about this awful bank scheme. There's no way you can physically pay this much throughout your whole life.

**_***_ **

**Monday**. Wooseok starts his second week of day shifts at the "Frey". Byungchan will finally have his long-desired night shift. As they were the only full-time workers there, night shift only changes between them. Slight discomfort settles in his chest when he meets with his colleagues again. He knows, the rumors been around and can only guess how much further from the truth they got. Surprisingly, people don't mention his night adventures and he completes his work with ease.

**_***_ **

The gas station is hauntingly empty. At night, Wooseok job is more about securing the safety. Rarely any soul is around here at this time. He sits on the counter at the station's store. Once again he rereads Seungyoun's massages, trying to analyze what each word means. He tries to imagine what the other felt when he has been pressing "send", tries to solve the secret mystery behind. He doesn't register that time is already close to midnight.

He hears the abrupt sound outside. The engine of the car, which stopped at this lonely station. Wooseok looks through the store's window. Pinches his eyes to see more clearly. 

_fuck no..._

In one second, he jumps from the counter and turns the lights off, so his figure won't be seen from the street. Only fluorescent street lamps illuminate the inside of the store.

****

**_###_ **

wooseok, i know you there

i'm coming inside

i dont wanna see you

well, i know that already

****

**_###_ **

Seungyoun opens the door, luckily Wooseok didn't lock it. He sees the latter, leaning on the wall at the other side of the store. Streetlight softly shines on him, emphasizing his features and elegant figure. _He looks ethereal_ , Seungyoun thinks. Although Wooseok is wearing his station uniform and his stance tells about tiredness and exhaustion, he still can't be compared to everyone other Seungyoun deemed as beautiful before. He comes closer. Wooseok crosses his hands on the chest, looking at the window and pretending to ignore.

"I know you playing hard to get now," Seungyoun leans on the wall beside him "But look" he takes out the small box, opens it in front of the other. Wooseok slowly shifts his gaze.

Inside is a little bottle with "Lavender Oil" written on the front.

"I read about how to fight the panic reactions. They say to use the lavender on your hands and smell them when your nervous."

_i don't know_ _how_ _to feel_ _about this_

"It's an expensive bottle. Oil is from some elite mountain lavender or whatever, but I wanted you to use something good."

Seungyoun reaches for Wooseok's right hand, slightly turning his figure to face him. To his surprise, he doesn't try to break away. He gently rubs the oil on Wooseok’s skin, slowly massaging the palm and fingers. Wooseok tries to keep his indifferent expression.

_why he does it so sensually?_

Seungyoun brings the other's hand to his nose, smelling the intoxicating aroma. Then his lips land on the skin with a short kiss. Wooseok breaks his hand free from Seungyoun's hold.

"What are you doing?" he says furiously.

"Trying to get some reaction from you," he grins "Mission successful."

"Why are you here? At this time you have to be at the "Frey", eating your cake," Wooseok finally lets out the words.

"I said that you can't ruin my routine before, but look now. You did it, in fact."

Wooseok feels slightly proud that he is that important.

"Anyway," Seungyoun continues, putting the cigarette in his mouth. "I always thought that physical pleasure is the most important part of the relationships. The backbone of it, if we talking about young people, of course," he exhales the smoke, before starting a full-on philosophy lecture. "So, when I didn't get it from you in a good quality, I mean, you're inexperienced, so, naturally, it's not that..." he tries to find the words to not offend. "...Well-executed. And you can’t give me this quality straight away. Yeah. That's why I said what I said..."

"So, you thought only with your dick?" Wooseok cuts the lecture.

"It's a shame to admit, but I did."

"But why did you think such bullshit about relationships?" he slowly dives into the conversation, lifting up his guard.

"In all my previous ones, sex was the only good thing. Looking back, all I felt to those girls was lust, when I thought it was something more. To be real, a lot of people do mistakes like this."

"Do you feel lust for me?" Wooseok knows the answer he wants to hear, in order to raise his ego.

"Of course, I do. And I already acted on it. But there is something else."

"What is that?"

"I care about you a lot romantically, even when you didn't give me the needed pleasure or run away from it. And I thought only a few days ago that it's impossible to do, without basing it on physical stuff...”

"Tell me about your past relationships. I want to hear why you think that way."

Seungyoun hesitates if he should get that vulnerable and share it.

“My ex repeatedly cheated on me with a gang leader," he lights off the cigarette with the ashtray on the counter near. "Everyone around me knew and just laughed behind my back. She would always cry and scream when something didn't go her way ‘cause I'm weak for tears,” he absorbs into the story. “I also gave her a lot of money, but she and her 'real boyfriend'," he shows the quotes with two curled piece signs. "Used it to grow the gang. When I have found out about it all, I broke up with her. She got mad and put up the gang against me. They have beaten me up. So, I swore to don't do relationships since then and act colder around people. That way they don't use me and wipe their foot off of me as a result."

_that_ _was_ _harsh_

"You know, you telling me this and I think that we don't know so much one another, we are not that far off from complete strangers."

"But we do some questionable things around each other. We act on _something_ that makes us like that."

"On _what_?"

"On... _some_ thing," they heartily laugh, recognizing a similar dialogue from the past. But last time it was about outer pleasures, now about inner sensations.

_how different it feels now..._

"Let's wait before we name what is that."

Wooseok nods. He grabs the cigarette from the pack, which Seungyoun left on the counter.

"You know what? Take this whole pack. You will destroy your lungs in no time with whatever you fume here."

"If you care about me destroying my lungs, you would have said to quit smoking."

"There is a reason I don't."

Wooseok looks at him in question.

"I can get a boner just by looking at you doing it," they laugh again at such blatancy.

"We were just talking about higher feelings and now you back to the raunchy stuff," they giggle again, easing off around each other more.

Wooseok drowns in smoke. His plump lips keep hold of the cigarette. He feels Seungyoun's lingering gaze but no longer feels uncomfortable about it like before. Although it's dark, he can notice that not only desire can be seen in the other's eyes, there is something dreamy. _Something_ that they agreed to name later.

"So, did you get a boner?" Wooseok leaves burn out expensive cigarette on the ashtray.

_where did i learn such heavy flirting?_

"You can check it," Seungyoun grin is unbelievably wide.

Wooseok is completely facing Seungyoun now, his foot pointing at him. Seungyoun leans more comfortably on the wall. Wooseok puts his right hand on Seungyoun's crotch. He can definitely feel that the man got aroused.

_i feel good that it's because of me_

The sound of a zipper spreads inside the store. Wooseok takes out Seungyoun's erection, the fabric of the boxers pulls down a little under the weight. Warmth radiates in Wooseok's chest just from holding it. Seungyoun's eyes close. He wants to focus on the moment.

Although they have talked about the importance of sensing something higher than just bodily pleasures, this moment felt like it has both at the same time. That it has the meaning on two levels: body and spirit. The unconditional want of giving someone earthly pleasures, giving the “gross” and “dirty” meaning.

Wooseok slowly spreads the precome, so it will give better penetration. He makes a circle around the cock with his fingers. Feels the veins pulsing against them. Seingyoun’s cock is hot and, most importantly, right there, in the hold of exactly his hand and nobody others.

He strokes at a steady pace. Flesh against the flesh. The lewd sound of sliding fingers fills the store. They both silent, drowning in the moment. Seungyoun opens his eyes, looks at the smaller. A gentle smile shows on his face. There is tenderness in the gaze.

Wooseok goes faster and faster. Fingers getting hotter from each motion. Seungyoun hums.

_he likes it?..._

Wooseok couldn't believe he brought this much out of the man. He is content that he was able to pleasure him.

Seungyoun whispers that he is close. Wooseok makes sharp and fast movements across all size, waiting for the other's orgasm. He is getting ready to catch the come, so it won't tame the floor. Seungyoun spills into his hand and hides his cock back under the clothes. Wooseok looks at his palm, filled with semen.

"Seungyoun," he softly addresses. "Please, hold my hand."

The man puts his hand above the other's. Sticky feeling between the skin. Intertwined fingers. They found something strangely romantic about this action. Warm wetness pleasantly spreads between their palms. Seungyoun still holds the smile on his face. Thinks, that his cock probably smells now with the scent of lavender oil.

****

**_###_ **

wow, you didn't fail the handjob

im impressed

how could i?

i have the same thing in my pants

and years of practice

not the same,

dont flatter yourself

mine is bigger

**.................**

goodnight, seungyoun

**_###_ **

**Tuesday**. In the morning, before going to "Frey", Wooseok takes the cigarette from the gifted expensive pack. Smokes by the open window in the kitchen. He likes these cigs, they are miles better than what he had tried before. Their smell doesn't annoy him as from those vanilla ones he sometimes uses when there were no options. He feels like problems in his life are slowly solving. The debt has the potential to be fixed through the organization, he may drop the gas station job if things in the bar will be stable enough, but no "special offers", of course. He would try to pay the minimum without it. And also, he could start a dating life with the rich man that he is infatuated with. To his satisfaction, things are slowly changing.

"Wooseok, you smoking inside again?" grandmother interrupts his thoughts. "You will give your sister a bad influence if you won't quit."

Wooseok sighs. He heard this many times before. But the thing is: he hates that she is right. He is not the best role model.

"What is that?" she sees the pack on the table, there is still sticker with a price. "You paid for them? That much!? Are you craz-"

"It's a gift." her shouts stop.

"But where have you gotten the money on the things you bought on Sunday? And my present, it was expensive. I don't believe you earn that much from your new job" she rains him with suspicions "This cigarettes and money, is this related?"

"Alright, I will tell you," he turns from the window. "I found a rich woman."

_...i_ _only_ _changed one detail from the truth_

"Oh. That's great, Wooseok,” she assures. “That's actually great."

****

**_***_ **

Wooseok is ready to go on a day shift. He hears a knock on the door. Grandmother went back to her house and his sister is at school. They can't be at this time here and Wooseok didn't wait for anyone.

He opens the door without asking "who's there?", which he deeply regretted later. In front of him - quite big guys with aggressive and serious expressions on their faces.

"Are you Wooseok?"

He nods.

"So," the man in the center looks at the papers in his hands. "Debt number 01268, transferred from Mr. and Mrs. Kim to you, is not paid at the indicated dates. Today, you will receive the first warning."

_warning? so, the "immediate action" that the bank has promised to take is not calling to a court?_

Wooseok steps back at the doorway. He knows what it means and it pointless to fight back such big bulls in front of him.

"You better don't resist or it will be more painful," the guy in the center says. He signals the other man by his side to start.

Wooseok knows there is no way to run, he feels the panic taking over.

The man hits him in the stomach. Wooseok clutches hands around the spot, he bends, trying to regain his breath. The next hit lands on the side of the jaw. He loses his balance. The lower lip is bleeding.

_...painful_

Wooseok tries to stand up, bet the man presses on his shoulders to keep him seated. He pulls out the small jackknife. Tears Wooseok's clothes on the right shoulder. Craves the small cross there, in the form of an “x”. Cuts deep enough to leave a scar. Blood slides down the skin from Wooseok's shoulder.

"It's over," the man with the paper states. "Next warning will be much tougher."

They leave, closing the door with a loud bang. Wooseok still sits there with the torn fabric on his shirt. After some time, he starts to process the situation. He feels the ache. But strangely, in spite of this, he is relieved.

_...i thought that they would be harder on me_

He stands up and searches for the oil. It didn't really help, but he got the comfort of knowing that Seungyoun is somewhere close. That he will protect him from any harm, from any physical pain.

He disinfects the wounds on the shoulder and lower lip. Antiseptic, with the uncomfortable slight pain for Wooseok, reacts to the harmed area.

There is an answer to his debt problem that will be much more effective than that financial organization, which is taking too slow. The answer is Seungyoun's money. Wooseok knows it but hates himself for this thought. He can't ask for this now, they are not that close.

_and maybe he would think i was trying to use him for this all along..._

They need to become more stable before he will ask for a loan repay, so it won't be suspicious. _But there is only one way to get closer fast_ , Wooseok thinks. As Seungyoun told yesterday, he treasures sex a lot. Wooseok feels that his mind is slowly filling with toxic thoughts.

_do i want to manipulate him with this? but is this manipulation if i want it as well?_ _just kills_ _two birds_ _with one stone_ _, right?_

He tries to convince himself that this will be appropriate. But unconsciously, he knows it's a bad decision. In the fear of his life, he thinks in irrational patterns. He mentally scratches the plan of how to propose sex in the right way, so it wouldn't be unreasonable. The plan will take action on his birthday, which is coming soon.

_the fact, that he will be my first will also get some effect on him, i guess_

_ahh, i will forever hate myself for these thoughts...am i exactly like his ex? just want to manipulate him by using the same weapon_ _as_ _she did?_

**_***_ **

**Night shift**. “You ditched the “Frey” again?” Wooseok asks Seungyoun as soon as the other enters the store, knowing full well the answer.

“I don’t wanna inflate your ego, but yes,” suddenly, worry shows on Seungyoun’s face. “What’s with your lip?” he gently grabs his chin to observe.

Wooseok startles at the abrupt touch. That effects the discomfort that still present in his stomach, he clutches it for a second with his hands. He felt a slight pain there even throughout his work at the bar. Seungyoun notices it.

“Wooseok, show me your shoulder,” he dictates.

“Why?”

_what is going on? how he...? does he have a second sight?_

“I said, show me your shoulder. Right shoulder, to be more correct,” he says, now in a strict voice.

Wooseok, shocked by Seungyoun’s perception, slowly pulls down the fabric on his uniform. Close to the hickeys, which were now a barely visible yellowish color, lays the “x” mark, the wound is now under the crust. Seungyoun loudly sighs.

“Wooseok, you’re in a deep fucking trouble.”

“It’s just” he begins his story, looking down. He can’t tell the whole truth or he wouldn’t be able to manipulate Seungyoun later “Some big guys showed up on my doorway and said that I will get hit because of my parents. But since they are not in a country, I guess, they pulled it on me. I have no idea for what exactly”

“That’s quite possible if someone hired a gang on them. Maybe they have pissed someone off when they were here? Or do they have a debt left?”

_oh...does he sees right through me?_

“I don’t know,” Wooseok fastly responds.

“It’s really bad that you don’t. It was a gang, Wooseok,” the other’s eyes open wide at these words.“First time, they hit you in the stomach, then on the jaw. The second time, they beat until you pass out. On the third time - think that you are too much trouble for them and it’s time to...you know,” he tries to carefully find the right words, seeing Wooseok’s distressed expression. “...To...remove you. Let’s say it like this. That’s why they leave the mark, to know the exact amount of time the gang was hired on you. The knife that they use is on the chemicals and when you try to get rid of marks medically, it will leave even a bigger deformed scar, so they will see it anyway,” he gets closer to Wooseok, embraces him, the other trembles a bit. “It’s okay, dear. It’s okay, calm down.”

“How do you know all of this?” his voice is unstable, he softly lets go of the embrace.

“From the research and, well, from my...experience."

Seungyoun unbuttons his shirt. Tugs down the white fabric, enough to see the shoulder. The other attentively looks.

Two marks.

Wooseok feels that it’s time to smell his lavender oil.


	4. Chapter 4

Two marks.

At the sight of this, Wooseok's nervous system starts to exchange more electric impulses. Billions of bad scenarios fly through his head.

_is seungyoun gonna be... removed? what is this?..._

Being the reason for Wooseok's panic once again, Seungyoun, on his part, gets confused about how to handle the other's quick change of mood. Not knowing what to do, he hugs him one more time. Here, at the empty gas station in the middle of nowhere, or it seems like this if look at it in the night time, they stay like this: silent, arms around each other.

“Will you...just will you…” Wooseok tries to start a sentence with a shaky voice.

“No, I’m not gonna die,” Seungyoun, as always, reads his mind. “I will be careful, don’t think too much about it.”

"Careful? Why do you need to be careful? What does it mean?" questions rain on Seungyoun.

“I kinda...fight against the gang. Remember my ex? The first mark is when she hired a gang on me, another one - I was too obvious trying to close them off. But, I’m not that reckless anymore, I work in the shadows since my second mark,” he explains.

“Seungyoun, this doesn’t sound good,” Wooseok is ready to get back to his nervous state anytime.

“It doesn’t sound good for now, but would when I will shut them down. My money was used for their growth, it's my responsibility. And because they hurt you, revenge will come for sure," Seungyoun slowly breaks the hug, they were doing it for uncomfortably long if you take into account their relatively low level of closeness.

“Why do you even do this? I’m thinking again that I know nothing about you," his pitch is raising. "It annoys me when you pull shit like this out of nowhere!"

“Yeah, I’m pretty unpredictable. Thank you for the compliment.”

“That’s not funny. You never even told me your occupation.”

“I work at the bank.”

“At the bank? That’s all?”

“That’s all. I don’t wanna talk about work, I was there just an hour ago and dead tired from it. Everything has been on fire there lately, with business partners and such."

"That's why you drunk that much alcohol last week?"

Seungyoun nods.

For the rest of the time that they spend together at the lonely gas station, Seungyoun and Wooseok only made an awkward small talk. Wooseok wants to dive deeper, dig under surface and ask some dangerous questions about the whole situation, but couldn’t gather enough bravery to do so. Also, his psyche will be healthier that way if he won’t know about some other things that can hide in the drawer of Seungyoun’s life.

To say goodbye, the other’s lips barely touch Wooseok’s cheek. Seungyoun wants to do more: to passionately kiss. But he decides against it, worrying about the wound on Wooseok’s face. “Good night” he says, regretting that he said such shocking things today, making Wooseok mental state even worse.

**_***_ **

**Wednesday**. Today Wooseok has promised Seungyoun to take his day off to heal from the encounter with the gang. Although he had actively tried to convince Seungyoun that nothing hurt and bothered him anymore, the other didn't buy that.

But fortunately or not, depending on the situation, Wooseok is a hardworking guy, which means he can't say still. His hands are always itching to do something. This something turns out to be a long abolished drawing hobby. Luckily, there was no lack of inspiration - Seungyoun and his sharp appearance. He had looked different every day, but still amazing in his own ways, which awakened Wooseok painter's vision to a maximum. A lot of time flies away as Wooseok stalks Seungyoun's social media in the search of the perfect picture to copy. There a lot of likes and comments with a tune of "looking good, daddy", "dm me, i'm free for the weeknd" or "can i be your sugar baby?". Levels of jealousy in him rise, naturally reacting to the things with such substance. He understands, why Seungyoun never asked for the "special offer" at the bar before because it's all in front of him for free. Seungyoun doesn't even need to move his one finger to get it.

_he_ _is_ _handsome, young and rich...of course it’s like this_

Wooseok feels proud that he was able to find such a catch and make him even “care romantically”, as the other said. In a rush of these emotions, he is scared to lose him. Once again, the mind goes back to now fleshed out a plan about making Seungyoun pay the parents' loan. Saliva accumulates in his mouth as he grows more nervous to act on his plan, Wooseok nervously gulps. He is scared to turn Seungyoun off if the other ever finds out.

Wooseok shakes his head, thinking it will magically make the toxic thoughts disappear. He goes back to drawing, sharpening his pencils. Paper fills with ink as Wooseok tries to capture Seungyoun in his beautiful, ideal form, erasing and painting and then erasing again until the complete satisfaction with each facial feature that his fingers bring to life.

"Is that…" the voice coming from the back, his grandmother has been observing him for quite some time while he was completely engrossed in his task. "Your friend that you are drawing?"

“Yeah…” a short pause. “That’s... my friend.”

_it hurts to say…_

His grandmother hums in response, not asking questions anymore. _Did she find this suspicious?_ he thinks, as she just left in silence. He decides that - no, it's simple overthinking. There is no massive evidence that he is seeing Seungyoun. Right?

Being distracted from drawing, Wooseok decides to finally put his plan into action. The so-called “Plan V”, which indicates the loss of something precious.

**_###_ **

seungyoun,

tomorrow is my birthday

oh...i will buy you something

no, i don’t need that

i have a birthday wish

what’s that?

i want to lose my virginity

?

also, you aren't that much of a virgin, technically

oral is sex too

seungyoun, you know what i mean

don’t make me say it

ok, but who’s the lucky guy?

you

me???

you!!!

O_o

**_###_ **

Wooseok giggles at Seungyoun’s reaction: smiling still hurts a little as it stretches the tissue of the wound.

_so, it’s true that you laugh at every stupid joke when you like someone?_

“Oh, are you at home today?” his sister just came back from school, surprised but still pleased that her beloved brother is resting today. Two letters are in the hold of her hand "Look, what I found in the mailbox" she hands the papers.

First, “Bank notice". Cheap white paper with bad printing, always indicating the scarily big numbers. Wooseok doesn't want to look at this. The digits of the debt are forever pressed in his mind. He knows it by heart, there is no need to witness this again and get your mood down. Paper crumples in his hand and flies straight into the trash bin. One thing Wooseok missed, by not reading it, is the little caption under the table with numbers. “The next immediate action will take place by this Friday as the debt is still active in the full volume”.

Second, "Dear our children". The new letter from his parents. Fancy paper, sprayed with a sharp flower perfume. You can say it's too sharp as Wooseok almost sneezes, smelling the excessive amount of scent. “Our beautiful daughter and son, we are doing great, don’t worry” Wooseok rolls his eyes after reading the opening sentence.

_it’s not like we asked…_

He quickly runs through the lines of how great they spent their time, taking the European tour and buying clothes in the boutiques. Until the next paragraph catches his attention: “You know the reason why we took a break, right? We got really tired of paying that debt, so we thought, that maybe our son can help us out. Do you know the saying, Wooseok? At first, your parents work on you, then you work on the parents when they grow old. The loan is not that big, anyway. It's probably paid by now if our son is walking on the road of hard work and respect to his paren-"

Suddenly, wet spot spreads on the paper. He can't read anymore. Tears fall due to the pity for himself, due to the despair and hopelessness of the situation.

_because of this...because of this, i need to use the person that i am falling in love with?_

Truthfully, Wooseok couldn’t care less if he is “removed” but that’s only if no one was by his side. If he wouldn’t be there, his grandmother and sister will be left on their own, with no support to fall back on. That is his priority: ensure their safety, and not the "selfish", as he thinks, will to live and love.

“Are you crying?” worry resonates in his sister’s voice. “It’s because you miss mom and dad?” she tightly hugs him, showing the simple care he needed for so long.

“Yeah, it’s because I miss them.” he says, barely audible.

**_###_ **

seungyoun,

i have some conditions

let’s hear it

1\. in the bed. not in the car, not on the bar counter or some dirty bathroom. bed!!!

2\. after the shower

3\. you better do a medical check-up, cause i wanna do it _a la natural_

1\. at my place, i live alone anyway

2\. ok

3\. i already have done after you promised to blow me

3\. wow, that was nice of you

3\. of course

and actually, i have a condition too

yeah?

1\. don’t use it against me,

because we doing it for a reason that both of us want this

**_###_ **

Bubbles float to the surface, popping with a hissing sound. Wooseok's fingers are twisted around the glass in a reserved, aristocratic manner. He wants to look like a gentleman for Seungyoun, who pulled out him from the night shift right to the house. In this apartment, there isn't any other way to act than pretend to be a nobleman or someone with blue blood, in which erythrocytes were lively running through the system since birth. Sadly, Wooseok is neither. There is no aristocratic sixth sense that gives the cue on the right way to present yourself. He just tries his best because it feels like Seungyoun’s home will get enraged with the matter of dropping your manners and be the usual earthly human self. 

"Relax," Seungyoun says, refilling the glasses with more champagne, which he proposed in order to prepare for the upcoming night. "Feel like home."

But it’s not an option. What Seungyoun means by home - is a mansion with countless rooms. By the design, it’s quite obvious that Seungyoun likes gothic with its sharpness and darkness, the qualities which he carried in his personality as well.

There is no way the one can relax, feeling like at the king's reception in the middle ages.

_how can someone live here alone?_

They patiently wait until small doses of alcohol will hit in the head.

"Tell me, what annoys you? I wanna hear you rant," Wooseok asks, deep into their conversation to pass the time. So, they would feel more comfortable to start something more. Something more intimate.

“Work, a fucking work and always work,” the tautology makes Wooseok laugh. At this point, there is no joke, coming from Seungyoun’s mouth, that can’t put a smile on him. “You remember that drunk guy? That tried to hit on you? His organization now cooperates with us and I really against it, but no one there listens to me!” Seungyoun takes the task “to rant” seriously. “How is his organization called? "DebtFREE"? Whatever, but that's a scam! They lure people by promising to free them from our loans, but they don't do shit! It's a trap, a person can't go to a court and file a complaint, and then the bank just beats them up or confiscates their property. The only good thing about working with that organization is that the gang operates under them. And, maybe, I can do more about shutting it down,” he finishes the glass and demonstratively puts it back on the table. "I hate where I work, it's just a hoax, which lives off of others suffering. Stupid "Freya", I want it to burn in a fire."

“Freya?” Wooseok cautiously asks. Realization, about how deep in a trouble he actually is, raises.

"Yeah, Freya. My father loves Nordic mythology, he names all the company's branches this way,” he intently looks, catching the slight nervousness in Wooseok demeanor. “You know this bank?”

"Yeah, I heard of it," Wooseok answers, averting the gaze to not make eye contact. He quickly changes the theme: "I wanna, maybe, take a shower".

**_***_ **

Awkward. The only word that Wooseok can describe the situation now is “awkward”. Orange low lights. Air is filled with the essence of aroma candles. Hardly audible lo-fi music. Seungyoun prepared everything to set the mood. But they just lay on the bed, on the silk sheets, hesitating. It's not like the last time in the car when they were, as people say, "no strings attached". Seungyoun lower body is wrapped in a towel as he is freshly from the shower. Wooseok is naked. But he quickly got embarrassed and wrapped himself in the Seungyoun’s blanket.

“Do you not worry about the sheets?” Wooseok decides to ease the atmosphere with the conversation.

“Not in the slightest,” he concludes. “Putting a towel underneath wouldn’t look that romantic.”

_romantic? he cares about romance_ _a lot_ _now_

Wooseok supposes that the best tactic to break the tension is playfulness. He sticks out his leg from the shelter, the blanket, and lightly touches Seungyoun’s foot. Fastly hides it back, giggling to himself. This antic does its job for Seungyoun, hinting that it's time to move forward. And he, being the man with a healthy testosterone level, doesn’t wait for another signal and takes initiative.

He turns his side to Wooseok, who expectantly awaits at how the actions will unfold. Seungyoun lowers his head. His lips cover the skin of the other’s neck. By now, Wooseok knows: Seungyoun likes to make a mess with the saliva. He feels that his neck is gradually getting wet with spit pouring down onto the collarbone and covering his mark.

“Oh, it’s almost healed,” the man distracts from his waterworks, observing the moist flesh and the absence of hickeys. “You need an update.”

Seungyoun starts sucking until the blood vessels pop up, forming the red spots.

_he is possessive, i guess_

The mild ache makes Wooseok shiver. He enjoys it. The other part of him tells that enjoying pain is not something he felt before, thus it’s a strange experience.

“You know,” Wooseok says, slightly fidgeting from the other’s actions on the sensitive skin. “It’s pretty embarrassing...to walk around...with...these,” each word comes out with effort as Wooseok is too focused on the burning feel at the neck.

“If I bite my initials here,” Seungyoun says with lips brushing against the other’s skin. “Would it be less shameful? People, at least, will know the owner.”

_the owner?..._

Wooseok's temperature jumps a half a degree Celsius from this subtle dirty talk. Seungyoun lifts the irritated skin with his teeth, lightly scrubbing it between them.

“Ou...ch!” Wooseok retreats from Seungyoun, seating up. Sharp pain surprised him.

“Oh, don’t worry,” he says, lips glowing from saliva, already puffy. “I was joking about initials,” he pushes Wooseok down to his previous position with the kiss on the lips, or more accurately, with a smack. He tosses away the blanket to the floor, presenting Wooseok in his original natural form - naked.

Seungyoun’s spit tastes like alcohol that he drank not too long ago. Finally, Wooseok can kiss him again and not just be nostalgic about the experience in the car. The noise of clutching liquids between their mouths raises in volumes as they move more passionately. Seungyoun gently tugs and licks the other’s lower lip around the wound, tries not to hurt. But Wooseok even likes it when the lip gets a slight pain from the irritation.

Seungyoun repositions himself between Wooseok’s legs, not breaking the kiss and still wandering with the tongue. The latter obediently agrees to the new, more comfortable and intimate placement. He clenches his thighs over the other’s sides.

_how warm, how wet_

By this time, Wooseok is fully erect. His genitals touching Seungyoun’s stomach, getting slight friction from the protrusions of his abs. His precome spreads around them. Seungyoun feels this, pressing his body harder. Wooseok wants to be relieved more, wants to feel more. He pushes his hips up to be touched by Seungyoun’s stomach with more tension around his cock.

Seungyoun thinks that it’s time to forward their foreplay, distracting Wooseok from his uncomfortable thirsty grinding.

Seungyoun breaks free from Wooseok's lips. The short trail of saliva is torn between them. Seungyoun sits up, still in the place amongst Wooseok's thighs. Carefully lifts the other’s lower back on his lap. Soon, they will enter the unknown zone. Something, that Wooseok dreaded and expected at the same time. The mix of pain and extreme pleasure is finally here. It will embody in the form of Seungyoun’s cock.

Seungyoun grabs the lubricant, which was placed under the bed with a conscience to not spoil the mood, reaching out for the bottle. The scent of lavender pass through Wooseok's nose. Being a caring lover, it wasn't unexpected of Seungyoun to buy a lube on the base of lavender oil. _Maybe_ , he thinks, _it will make him relax more._ He pours it on the fingers, some amount of the lotion spills on the bed. The main event haven’t started yet but the sheets are already tamed.

The index finger traces the outline of Wooseok’s still innocent hole, teasing and massaging to spread the luscious lube. This continues for a minute until Wooseok’s patience abruptly ends, because he wants more, much more that is being given to him.

"This doesn't really do anything for me," he says in an annoyed voice. A second later: "Hey! Aww!" he feels the finger inserting inside, with a half-cold sensation of the lubricant. "You should've...warned...ah…me!"

“I’ve thought it was a call for action,” Seungyoun curls his finger, getting the strange sounds out of Wooseok. The latter wants to object the argument, but the stimuli in his lower back are too much to focus on something else. Wooseok senses that the uneasiness of his mind slowly grows, the heart beats more irregularly. He hides his eyes with the back of the hand, the fear of unknown and a sense of shame manifest themselves into the anxiety. Wooseok tries to direct his attention to the oil aroma, deeply breathes to dull the turbulence inside his head.

"It's okay," Seungyoun notices the weak trembling. "I'm here. I'm with you," he caresses the inside of Wooseok's thigh, his finger slowers in the intensity of movements.

These words mean a lot for Wooseok, they carry the lukewarm feelings within. Like the key, the words open the cage where those feelings were hiding for his whole adult life. People say: love is a chemical. At this moment, Wooseok didn't care what exactly this was: the mash of hormones or the special ethereal emotion, coming from the soul. He feels the relaxation of the muscle tension. The level of fear slowly goes away. Most importantly: he wants to give Seungyoun everything, be embraced by him, be cared by him, feel him inside, connect two bodies to achieve mutual pleasure.

Seungyoun waits until Wooseok calms down. His walls ease the spasms as well, the finger can stretch the tissue more flexibly. He adds another. Wooseok bites his lip, the small trail of blood is rushing down the chin as teeth land on the wound. He doesn't note the ache because the one in his lower back is times much greater. 

Third finger. Wooseok is ashamed of letting out the incomprehensible sound. Seungyoun pumps the fingers in and out of the hole to give the other a taste of how the bigger thing will feel.

“Can I enter?” Seungyoun slowly says, so Wooseok could understand clearly. He nods, still hiding his face.

Seungyoun unleashes the towel, which covered up a visible bulge. Throws the fabric on the floor. Wooseok doesn’t dare to look, awaiting the other’s action.

Wooseok's thighs are being spread more by Seungyoun's hands. And then. He feels it. He feels it going inside with a gradual speed, filling the space. Discomfort and burning circulate across his body.

“Mm…” he tries to swallow the pain. Luckily, Seungyoun is patient this time. The knowing that his lover is right there in him, in his inner walls, brings the feel of satisfaction. Seungyoun lowers his body, so they would be face-to-face, raising the intimacy. “Aa..” - the sudden shift of position triggers the ache. Wooseok takes the hand off from his face. Seungyoun smiles at him, reassuring that: “It will be okay.”

First thrust. Burn. Agony. Everything, but not the pleasure. Next thrust. _This is torment_ , Wooseok thinks. Seungyoun doesn’t stop, he is slow, but the strength is hard enough to shake the body underneath.

Suppressing the shouts from irritating pain, he wishes to finally reach this lingering, long-expected pleasure. As the tissue of his hole adapts under the constant pressure, the silver lining of the bliss is there. The brushing against his prostate is growing more noticeable. He locks his legs on the Seungyoun’s back. “Aah…”. The first moan of enjoyment. It comes in waves, from the point of his lower back. Wooseok swallows the sounds, too humiliated to let them out.

“Dear, you can moan,” Seungyoun whispers, not stopping the thrusts. “I will know better what to do.”

Is it that easy? Just forget about everything and dissolve in this moment? Wooseok tries to let go of himself, to break from shame. His voice gets louder: screams, mumbles, and whines are not anymore held hostage by his sense of embarrassment.

One time, his pitch gets higher. _There it is_ , Seungyoun thinks. “Oh…”. He hits the spot again. Wooseok is dazed, he feels like numbness and sensitivity live in his body at the same time. Push, more and more. Seungyoun is delighted from turning Wooseok into the living meaning of the word “wrecked”.

Their bodies are emitting heat into each other. Wooseok fixates on the drops of sweat, sliding down Seungyoun's chest. They fall on Wooseok's stomach, creating a mix of bodily fluids. Although Wooseok wanted to make love and not just fuck, the second one fits the situation more.

“I’m...gonna…” he mumbles, letting Seungyoun know about the coming of climax. The result of numerous bumps of Seungyoun’s cock into his prostate. The latter stops.

Wooseok is confused at the abrupt end of hard thrusts. Seungyoun puts his hand under Wooseok back, lifting him on the lap. He wants to longer the intercourse, not giving Wooseok the desired release.

“Mm...no…” Wooseok let’s go of half-size of the other’s cock. He is too scared to sit back.

_it’s... too deep…_

“Lower me...I can’t…” his reflexes, due to the knowledge that it will be painful, can’t let him take the cock in full.

Seungyoun gets the hold of Wooseok’s waist. It’ so slim, his fingers could touch one another. He pushes Wooseok down, inserting the cock deeper and deeper. The smaller’s head falls on Seungyoun’s shoulder, the blood on his chin from reopened wound smudges between their skin.

Seungyoun is getting close from such deep penetration as he lifts Wooseok up and down. The latter is completely powerless, not being able to move a limb under the strong grip of Seungyoun. Wooseok’s eyes watering. He moans in the man’s ear, not that loud as before due to the exhaustion. The noise of the splashing lube inside his hole overflows the room. Wooseok starts to get uncomfortable with the cock buried deep inside, pumping him at the fast speed.

Seungyoun comes, surging the sperm into the hole. He runs out of breath under the effect of lifting Wooseok’s weight for so long. Seungyoun helps to get the other off to bring back the delayed climax. Wooseok still sits on the soft cock, spills into Seungyoun’s hand. Drops land on their abdomens. Seungyoun whispers to him: “Happy Birthday”.

Later that night, Wooseok won’t sleep, recounting all the affectionate events. He will brush his thighs together, feeling the dried Seungyoun’s come. The devotion to the one and only man will fill his heart.

**_***_ **

**Friday**. Wooseok comes back in the early morning, Seungyoun gave him a ride home.

The birthday present, delivered by courier yesterday, is placed on his bed. The black flat box with a long ribbon. Inside - the set of silk underwear with tracery and lace, all with his initials. The material feels soft and smooth, almost melting in his hand.

_he is shameless…_

Wooseok imagines the wide grin that Seungyoun had while ordering the gift. Although it feels more like a joke than something serious, there is still a sense of intimacy, which grows more when he reads the included card:

“From your first,

to my last”.

“Wooseok, you are late today,” his grandmother steps into the room. “I saw your present,” she strictly says.

And true, Wooseok noticed that underwear wasn’t folded back as tidy as the new things should. He doesn't know how to react.

“Just say one thing,” she continues without waiting for the response. “Do you love this man?”

_...man?_

Wooseok's eyes grow wide. Does she know? He wasn't careful enough?

"I see that you are surprised. I haven't really suspected you, but then...things suddenly fell into place," she explains. "Of course, there is some passionate women out there, but your bruises didn't look like from a lady, and the cigarettes, they were "for man" as written on the pack. It was half-empty as well, so someone used it before. And when you suddenly start drawing again after the long pause, the first thing you paint - is the portrait of some man."

_how dumb and obvious was i…_

“And this underwear...I don’t wanna talk about it in particular.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” he looks down, feeling uneasy about where this is going.

“I’ll repeat. Wooseok, do you love him?”

The answer is simple and weightless as air.

“I do.”

“Then do whatever you want. But take care of your sister, it’s the only thing I ask.”

Wooseok is thankful even for this much, for simple carelessness and not something much worse. He won’t survive without Seungyoun’s affection and someone standing between their relationships could be the barrier.

**_***_ **

Getting ready to work, Wooseok decides that it’s time to fix the biggest problem in his life. He dreaded the day when this conversation will have to take place.

**_###_ **

seungyoun, i just got the notice from the bank

i guess, that’s why i was beaten

really now?

what “really now”?

nothing, continue

there is a large sum, i don’t know what to do…

how much?

**_###_ **

Wooseok sends the photo of the receipt, waiting for Seungyoun's massage. He starts worrying as it takes too long.

**_###_ **

wooseok, listen

that’s my whole half-year salary

yeah, i work at this bank, but that won’t change the debt

on what did your parents even spend this much?

on their trips…

i know, it’s a big favor, but will you help me?

why you can’t call the bank to the court?

it can lower the sum if you win

i can’t

that’s…

that’s will take a lot of time

why you didn’t know about the debt until now?

it’s just,

the bank was sending notices to my family’s old address

please, don’t doubt me

i love you, seungyoun,

i was never going to use you,

i really didn't know about the debt

i’m begging, will you please help me?

i was going to, but now…

i don’t really know

what do you mean?

i’m tired, wooseok, and it hurts me

you lied enough

**_###_ **

_lied?_


	5. Chapter 5

you lied enough

**_###_ **

_Outgoing call_

_"Seungyoun-ie"_

"What do you mean?" Wooseok says as soon as he hears the connecting sound. Not even five seconds passed after Wooseok has read the last message. He urgently chose to make a call.

"I’ve entered your name in the bank’s database when I got to the workplace. Whatever you said - is a lie!" Seungyoun raises his voice. "You’ve looked nervous when we talked about "Freya" yesterday. I notice things like that. I was pretty sure nothing will come up, but… well, imagine my surprise."

The thought, that Sungyoun didn’t trust him enough by searching his name, is upsetting. But the fact that he found out the truth - is more than upsetting, it’s terrifying.

_what will happen now?_

"You knew about the debt," Seungyoun continues, getting silence in return. "There are payments from your name during the past months. The address that stated here is the same that you've given me when I hired a courier for your present. No "family's old address" exists. And I know why you can't call the bank to a court, you signed with a 'DebtFREE'."

“Debt is not the reason why I am with you. Please, believe me,” the phone in Wooseok’s hand is trembling, the voice is getting weak and airy. “I’m not doing it for myself, it’s all for my fami-"

Seungyoun interrupts him: "I heard all of this "I love you" and "I'm never gonna use you, believe me" a hundred times before. I won't buy it again."

"I didn't tell you earlier because you would think the same,” Wooseok defends himself.

"So, you waited until later to emotionally manipulate me?” Seungyoun is getting seemingly angrier the more he hears Wooseok’s responses. “I'm curious, Wooseok, if you lied about the debt, what other things are also made up? Like, am I really your first? Maybe, you were just acting innocent?"

"What are you talking about?” Wooseok wants to end this call and have a full-on hysterical fit with tears, shattered plates and flying furniture. “That's the last thing you can doubt! Now, you're hurting me too!"

"What? I am hurting you? For real?!" his voice breaks, Wooseok can hear how the fist bumps on the table. "I'm hanging up, Wooseok, we have nothing to talk about. Find yourself another rich idiot who will pay your debts”. He adds: “I don't care what will happen to you."

_it’s too much...that’s the worst thing you could say..._

"Seungyoun..." he hears the beeping sound, the other has hanged up.

Wooseok feels the spasms in his throat, muscles across his body tense up. His grip around the phone tightens, he wants to throw it out of the window. He breathes loudly, still not fully realizing the contents of the conversation. His mind consists of mesh, even lavender oil wouldn't help - it will remind of a certain someone.

Wooseok is glad that his grandmother didn't hear it, she already went back home. Observing something like this, after he declared his love for Seungyoun, would be disastrous. But his sister is still there, she may ask uncomfortable questions.

“What happened, brother?” she looks startled after hearing such heated debate, peeking out from the door.

Wooseok distracts from his daze and the labyrinths of destructive thinking patterns, deciding what to answer. As soon as he opens his mouth to say, still with an unstable voice: "Just fighting with a friend", the knock on the door diverts his attention.

The knock is loud, rumbling through the apartment.

"Open up!" someone commands. Wooseok recognizes this voice. The member of a gang. He needs to react fast but it’s almost impossible as he still didn’t recover from the phone call.

_is this a second warning? this time they will beat me until i pass out..._

"Listen," he sits in front of his sister, looking directly in her eyes, so she could understand more clearly. "Listen carefully. Go into your room and lock it from the inside,” he hands her the phone. “Here. Dial this number. If no one picks up, call until they do. Say that you are my sister and that I need help. Don't unlock the door until this man will come here,” he guides her into the other room, the girl is still confused at the situation. The knocks, which are not stopping, scare her. “Don't worry, just do what I told you."

“We will break the door!”

Wooseok is in a panicked state, visibly shaking. The morning food can come out of him at any moment. But he tried not to show any anxiety to his sister or she will get worried more. He pointed at Seungyoun's number and not grandmother's because the future scene will be tough to perceive for her heart. He genuinely believes from inside of his naive and pure nature that Seungyoun words - "I don't care what will happen to you" - are baseless and simply not truthful. He waits until the lock in the sister's room clicks, goes to the entrance door, his legs are like made from cotton - it's hard to move.

He makes a deep breath. Opens the door.

**_***_ **

Wooseok, putting a lot of effort, lifts his eyelids. Through the veil of blood, he looks at the white ceiling, it turned red from it. It's hard to inhale oxygen. The sharp pain in his lungs. He rolls over on his back, as it hurts to lay on the side, on the broken ribs. He gasps from the ache.

The drops of blood on the carpet. Wooseok can't pinpoint the source of the bleeding because his body is agonizing all over. He didn't register the exact moment he passed out. Was it from the pain? From the shock? He wishes to fall back into this state again to not feel the suffering.

The metal taste in his mouth. Wooseok wonders if he has broken teeth. The burning in the lungs is unbearable, the nose and throat clogged up from the blood. He catches breath more and more frequently. Wooseok thinks, he will just choke himself right here on the cold floor. His body is alarmed from the shortage of air, mildly convulsing.

_...i hope, seungyoun will visit my funeral..._

**_***_ **

The hospital room. It still hard to breath but, at least, tolerable. Wooseok feels the dizziness and how heavy his head is. And he's sure, the doctors gave him sedatives because his motor functions are slowed down. For some reason, he feels peaceful. Like after the end of the storm. Although Wooseok knows that out of the hospital bed, there is a lot of shit to deal with.

There is a whole lot if only he wasn’t picked up by Seungyoun. But there is no way something like this happened. This is hopeless, just a silly wish. A foolish dream.

He observes the room: the vase on the bedside table. Is his grandmother the one who bought it? The flowers look wonderful, purple color is vibrant in the shining of, already, day sun. Wooseok can catch the barely noticeable smell. It feels familiar.

Lavender.

The door opens up.

"Oh, you're awake," someone instantly starts talking. "I just checked up with the doctor, you can be discharged soon."

Seungyoun. The one who made him suffer in pain and pleasure, on some occasions - at the same time.

Wooseok slowly sits up, he searches for words to convey his exact emotions. Seungyoun comes closer, sits on the chair beside the bed. Wooseok thinks, _did he was there all the time I was asleep? Just looking at me?_

Seungyoun gently places a finger on Wooseok’s lips, shutting down whatever the other wants to tell.

“I’m an asshole,” he says, looking down. Wooseok wishes to talk again, Seungyoun interrupts this time as well. “Also, I paid the debt. And I will find any dirty way out there to close this gang down.”

He doesn't remove his finger: “I know why you did it, now I know. Firstly, you’ve needed money for your sister when you agreed to give the “special offer”. And when you said today: that it’s all for the family... Right, they have no one, except you...I thought people that selfless don’t exist, but well, I just never met them,” Wooseok attentively listens to Seungyoun’s sudden realizations. “I’m saying this because I got in touch with your grandmother and sister, they were so sweet, they told me to take care of you…”

Wooseok’s mood brightens more. He is overjoyed that Seungyoun is accepted by his close people.

Seungyoun puts the finger down, starts tenderly grazing Wooseok's hand: "And the poor little girl... thankfully, I picked up the phone fast, but she was so scared by this whole thing, I need to buy her some sweets…"

Wooseok listens to Seungyoun’s mumbles with a soft smile. Now, he knows why there is a peacefulness inside. Because Seungyoun is close. Maybe, he should get angry. Maybe, the other is unforgivable for not noticing Wooseok’s selflessness. But he couldn’t bring himself to feel any negative emotions towards Seungyoun. It’s even pathetic, how unconditionally in love he is.

“I don’t accept you saying anything other than the swears at me,” Seungyoun concludes his long monologue, still brushing Wooseok’s hand.

"How can I swear at you?" he says in a weak voice, his throat is dry. Seungyoun lays his head down by Wooseok's side, the latter delicately caresses his hair. "I'm sorry for lying…"

He stops, noticing that Seungyoun is lightly trembling. Wooseok touches the other's cheek, it's wet. Wet from tears.

_is he crying? because of me?..._

“It’s...all my fault… I put you in such danger…” he says in-between swallowed sobs, it’s the first time he is that vulnerable in front of Wooseok. “When I came to your home, when you were there...on the floor, I saw the painting of me on the table...and I felt so much disgust for myself...I’ve felt so sick that this happened to you…” Wooseok carefully wipes the tears from Seungyoun’s face.

In the next few minutes, they stay in silence. There is a lot that could be said, but silence expresses their feelings much better. After calming down, Seungyoun whispers, still by Wooseok's side: "You are so pure...I want to protect you, to take care of you. I will do all of this and more..."

Lastly, he adds, with a sour expression: "If you could forgive me…"

**_***_ **

**Two months later**

**_###_ **

_resend_

_from:_ “ma sugar babe s2”

_1\. in the bed. not in the car, not on the bar counter or some dirty bathroom. bed!!!_

i want the second one in the second sentence,

cause i have good news,

we’re celebrating

it’s been in my erotic fantasies to-do list for weeks

. . .mm

you have “erotic fantasies to-do list”???

you keep surprising me…

and cho seungyoun!!!

how did you name my contact???

**_###_**

Seungyoun almost collapses at the front of “Frey” due to his excitement. He locks the door from the inside.

“Baby, turn off the lights!” he says with a grin, eyes are glowing. Wooseok couldn’t tell: is Seungyoun that happy because of the good news or because his erotic fantasy is about to come true?

“Oh,” Seungyoun stops, he remembers something. “I forgot the lube in the car. Should we use-”

“Fuck no!” Wooseok snaps at him. “I know, you are losing your mind over the spit, but there’s no way I’m gonna be left dry,” Seungyoun steps back, surprised by the sudden attack.

“I wasn’t talking about it.”

_oh…_

Wooseok is slightly embarrassed by this misunderstanding. Maybe, Seungyoun is not the only one who thinks a lot about the spit.

Seungyoun continues: “I’ll end my speech. Should we use the lube from here? I’m sure, this place has it.”

“Oh, yeah. Search in the waiting room, in the drawer.”

“Mm, that’s actually suspicious that you know where it is,” Seungyoun pinches his eyes.

“Byungchan told me,” the playful jealousy is a great food for Wooseok’s pride.

“I see, you are tight friends now!” Seungyoun shouts from the waiting room, looking through the drawer in the search of the sticky “treasure”.

"Yeah, I'm finally getting some life," Wooseok is pleased, his problems this time are truly gradually solving. To the point, that he can even make new friends. "I'm the one who needs to be jealous, people are thirsting in the comments on your social media."

Seungyoun hugs him from behind, after finally finding the lubricant: “That’s cute, kitty wants the owner all for herself” he whispers. Lights are already off, they able to see each other only by the blue lamps on the bar shelves, which help bartenders to see the bottles more clearly. But it will be enough for whatever Seungyoun has in mind. “Don’t worry, why would I cheat if I have such a baby doll?”

Wooseok gulps, the other always had a way with words of the intimate meaning.

"So, what's the good news?" Wooseok asks as Seungyoun breaks the hug in order to thoroughly shake the lubricant.

“The gang is no longer exists, well, together with that scam organization,” Seungyoun smiles in triumph. To say that Wooseok is shocked is to say nothing. _How? What? Is it real?_ \- goes through his mind.

"You remember that journal where you write the names of the "special offer" clients? Or the old creeps, in other words? So, anyway," Seungyoun continues, still excitedly shaking the lotion that will turn into the whipped cream soon, as whipped as he is for Wooseok. "That drunk guy's name was there enough amount to put a crack in the system. As the leader of the organization, he always promoted himself as a respectable and clean-living family man. And...I leaked the contents of the journal," Seungyoun shamelessly pats himself on the head, signaling how smart he is. "There are inner conflicts in the gang now because they were betrayed by this man's image. They fight about whether to continue work under a broken organization or not, so it's just a bunch of little separated groups."

"Oh, how good I didn't write your name there or it could've turned bad for you," Wooseok sighs. Seungyoun was right about finding a dirty way to close the gang off. But it's justified, accounting all the things these people have done. "Yeah, that's quite dirty..."

“You know what else is dirty?” Seungyoun’s gaze suddenly changes into the bedroom one. “You bending over the counter.”

_yeah, that was the plan_

Wooseok nonchalantly lowers himself on the counter. Wooseok made it seem that he didn't really want to proceed with all of this but, in reality, Wooseok craving for this just as much. He hopes, the apron will keep the counter and lower shelves from the incoming mess. Seungyoun finds the apron looking domestic, which turns him on more.

Seungyoun comes closer. His hands gently pull down all the fabric that interferes on the way to the smooth Wooseok’s skin. Seungyoun loves all parts of the other’s body, but one particular part he likes better when it’s filled with his cock. 

He slaps him on the buttock, a red trace is left from the palm. Seungyoun is enchanted by how soft and appetizing the flesh looks. He would never reject to squeeze it for all day long.

“What are you doing?” Wooseok asks, confused by the unexpected slap.

“Asserting my dominance.”

Wooseok rolls his eyes. He will play along with these sudden antics if that's what Seungyoun prefers.

The lubricant covers Seungyoun's fingers, he is preparing to put them into his favorite peach. Thankfully for him, the lube isn't based on the lavender oil. That smell is growing to be annoying and too syrupy. As Wooseok doesn’t have frequent panic attacks anymore, healing his mental state, Seungyoun would like to change their lotion in the future.

He sticks the finger inside. Wooseok bites his own hand to muffle the voice, escaping due to everything Seungyoun is about to do. They are in a public place, after all.

Wooseok isn’t scared anymore when more fingers insert him. In contrast to the first experience, he knows what to expect. No more fear of unknown.

"I was going to ask you," Seungyoun says, pumping the fingers at the extremely slow pace, making Wooseok shift, so he can push them deeper. "When will you drop this bartender work, like the gas station one? You know, you can just be at home, I can provide more than enough."

Wooseok is ready to answer but, all of sudden, Seungyoun increases the pace, earning muttered noise from Wooseok. The taller absolutely knows what he is doing, and into which state it turns Wooseok.

“Are you ignoring me?” he asks. Wooseok can’t respond instantly as it’s hard to even catch a breath. He removes the hand from his mouth, there is a visible bite.

“I don’t want to just sit...on my ass,” fortunately, this ass is clearly occupied now. “I would like...to...raise myself...to a manager here. To change...this place.”

Wooseok is getting humiliated by the oily sound, coming from his hole. He bites his hand back, anticipating Seungyoun’s gun, the 3D one, and later - his white bullets.

He hears the unzipping sound. It’s here. Wooseok feels the head of the cock and how it’s slowly invades, pushing apart the skin tissue. Finally, Seungyoun is all in, his cock is begging to start the penetration. He places his hands on the other’s hips. Wooseok bites his palm harder, teeth almost piercing the flesh.

The thrusting starts. Already acknowledging where Wooseok's sensitive place is located, Seungyoun targets exactly it. By now, Wooseok is sweating, his bangs are getting wet. The plumping sound emits into all the corners of the bar. The counter is slightly shaking as it hard for Wooseok to support himself more stably. Seungyoun doesn't hold back, his thrusts are deep and right in the spot.

He moves one buttock apart to bury inside deeper. Another hand - he replaces at the front of Wooseok, pressing against his cock. Wooseok isn't sure, in which direction he needs to push his hips. Into Seungyoun's hand or into his cock? For the other's pleasure, he decides to meet with Seungyoun's thrust. Now, not only the counter shakes but the bottles underneath, creating the ringing noise.

Muffled Wooseok’s breath can still be heard each time Seungyoun pushes inside. The smaller is exhausted, he is ready to fall on the floor. Seungyoun's hand on his cock is the only support. Wooseok is impressed by the other's stamina: Seungyoun keeps going with the same power but even faster. His buttock is in pain under the tight grip, still moved apart. His toes are getting numb.

“Give me the tissues. Quick,” Seungyoun relaxes the hold on Wooseok’s lower body. By the command, Wooseok reaches for the tissues, designed to be used by the customers. And not on the things they will put it to use.

Seungyoun raises the speed, the loud slaps of the flesh are audible almost without breaks. The come fills Wooseok’s hole, making Seungyoun shiver from pleasure as he relieves. He pulls out, the sperm drips from Wooseok’s walls. Seungyoun wipes it with tissues, he needs a lot because Wooseok is completely soaked.

He strokes the other’s cock, as Wooseok himself is too powerless to do anything. Even drained to let out any sound as he feels absolutely used. The feeling that Wooseok sincerely cherishes, but only when it’s brought by his man.

After both of them are spent, Seungyoun says, putting the clothes back on: "We need to grab some wine from here". He helps Wooseok dress too because the latter is still weak on the knees. "Because your grandmother told me that we need to celebrate you moving in with your family. You have no idea, how lonely it was to live at this house with that much of unused space."

They both lean their backs on the counter, feeling post-sex satisfaction and pleasant tiredness.

“So, did you like it?” the last time Wooseok asked this, the answer wasn’t entirely positive. He tries his luck again.

“That was perfect,” Seungyoun shortly says, lighting a cigarette. The smoke flies through the room.

“Hey, aren’t we quitting together?” Wooseok aims to grab the cigarette from the other’s mouth. Seungyoun quickly gives up, the source of the bad habit ends in the ashtray, not even halfway finished.

"Then let's go home," Seungyoun fondly caresses Wooseok's cheek after their small fight over the cigarette. Wooseok smiles in return, lightly blushing. After all the time he spent with Seungyoun, the latter never fails to make him feel the "something, that they agreed to name later" with the little gestures. Now, it's clear.

“Something” is love.

Seungyoun notices that Wooseok's clothes around the shoulder aren't tucked as the result from fulfilled erotic fantasy. He reaches to straighten the fabric. Two marks catch his attention. Every time Seungyoun sees them, the guilt climbs into every part of his being. They treat the marks as matching couple scars, symbolizing all the suffering they stumbled upon throughout their young lives. The suffering they overcame to unite together. To be someone's first and to be someone's last.

“Thank you for the special offer, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some parts are inspired by my dear friends, El. J. and A. N. :)
> 
> How do you feel about the story? If you like it, which part the most? Leave a feedback if you can:)
> 
> Thank you for every kudos and hit, I really really really appreciate all of this.

**Author's Note:**

> created twttter for seungseok [@sskissm](https://twitter.com/sskissm)  
> thanks for reading and your attention!!


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